funniest toxic things to say funniest toxic things to say

It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. Dont forward my call, I know where you live. Im an acquired taste. As much as I would love to spend time with you every day, some days, I actually have stuff to do. Please, dont stop, keep talking. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. 1. Happy Gal-entines, bestie! Most people know how that feels. Many people have been using ChatGPT and Bing chat to write long articles, poems, and even essays. Lists. Thats where most accidents happen. Bad idea in your case. Any fan of the game will find these memes hilarious and relatable . If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Im sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. I should never have lowered my standards for you. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Go back to Party City, where you belong! Phi Phi OHara. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. Try this: Before you leave a room, say, I bid you farewell! After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. The reason why this phrase deserves to die is its implied message that women are weaker than men. Funny Things to Say to Your Friends Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. The words dwarf and little person are more acceptable, as long as they arent used with a condescending or dismissive tone. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. 1. I thought of you today. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Jun 8, 2019 - Explore Victoria Nguyen's board "Roblox and funny quotes" on Pinterest. Too many have used this expression to invalidate the feelings of others by implying that the triggered one is overreacting to a prank or offensive remark. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! Toxic shock syndrome: Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a condition caused by bacterial toxins. If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. Hey, I lost my phone, can you call it for me? Everyone brings happiness to a room. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. Check your lipstick before you come for me. Naomi Smalls, If you want anything said, ask a man. Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. And we enjoy feeling superior, even a little bit, to someone who has made us feel smaller, less important, or less intelligent. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. We headed over to Twitter to find the "toxic traits" people have aired out on their accounts. . I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. . I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. Ever. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. You dont know whether anyone who hears these words has ever been suicidal or has suffered as a result of a suicide, so its best not to use language like this. They clap their hands over their eyes. Because youre the only 10 I see. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. So, get ready to say goodbye to the brutally cold St. Louis winter and give spring a huge warm welcome with one or more of these fantastically fun things to do in March 2023! When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. Hijo de las Mil Putas. 22. Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. When someone says to you ur so retarted say oh sorry i didnt hear you i thought you were describing yourself, when someone says u cant even roast me back say OMG REALLY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD BURN TRASH, when someone is saying there so cool and they were also mean say to them god stop being delusianol ur not cool u think your freinds are saying things like omg he is such a legend u really think they are trust worthy, I called a pest exterminator, to exterminate you cause u look like trash. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" I am returning your nose. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. There are so many paths in life. By Kuldeep Thapa. "You're in my way." 22. Log in. Sometimes a narcissist will ask for your opinion on something, and you give it, and then they make you feel bad for saying something like that. Before hearing you out, your partner says "let it go" without showing any interest in learning what happened. With all those years of wisdom, youd think you would have more wrinkles by now. Everyone brings happiness to a room. A more common variant is She doesnt know what shes talking about, since these words are often spoken by a male to discredit a female who isnt in the room and therefore cannot (immediately) defend herself. Your parents, for one. Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. I like to be an example for others. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, For Good, 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists. Everyone talks about the early birds good luck, but what about the early worms bad luck? They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I found a spot for you. "Why do you have to be such a b*tch?" 30. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark. Avoid jokes about sensitive or taboo topics and dont take it personally if someone doesnt think youre funny. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! The truth will set you free. Your crazy is showing. Bipolar disorder isnt a joke. This polarizing expression is still used as a way to dismiss those who argue for any cause that someone who identifies as socially liberal might support as if compassion invalidated someones beliefs. I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm. y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. Dont try to think too hard. 20. I love what youve done with your hair. And you want to tell them, It is not okay to say that!. I look ugly? It'll give you a chance to see if they can take it as well as they can dish it out. I just lost my grandfather. Id like to help you out today, which way did you come in? When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. No, no. His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. Please just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. You look so pretty. Men or women might use this expression to goad another man into doing something they want him to do, whether its in his best interests or not. This TikToker is a genius for engagement! And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. Kourtney Kardashian. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. It implies that you see that person as nothing more than an object blocking the path to your goal which you see as more valuable than that person. Don't worry, I wasn't offended. I would say my heart, but its just not as big. True antisocial behavior is more typical of sociopaths and psychopaths not introverts in general and its nothing to make light of. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. Memorize some of the lighthearted lines from above. A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! If someone never fails, it probably means theyre not doing enough. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. phrases. words. Another year older, but are you getting any wiser? There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. "No one has ever said 'no' to . Its similar to I was only kidding, and is meant to deflect attention from the one who made the offensive statement and point to the one complaining as someone who cant take a joke.. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Keep the roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts! Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? While were alive, were likely to experience failure or success, as long as were still doing things and striving to reach our goals. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. You have an entire life to be an idiot. The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. Light travels faster than sound. Using this line only exposes the mans powerlessness in the face of a woman who wont allow him to control, manipulate, or silence her. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Id like to help you out. But anyone can send a bland happy birthday note on a card. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? Weve compiled a list of 31 offensive or controversial words or expressions that are best avoided even if youre only kidding.. 99 Unique, Fun, And Unexpected Ideas, Has He Gone Radio Silent? I used to be addicted to soap, now I'm clean! Mirrors cant talk. I'm just happy that you can construct sensible sentences now. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. When in a grocery store ask the clerk "do you have Prince Albert in a can?", if they say yes, tell them to let him go. Whether over text or IRL, infusing humor into daily conversations makes socializing much more fun and interesting. Try these funny comments with your friends. How to Be Funny: 7 Easy Steps to Improve Your Humor. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Just remember that you dont want to come across as too clingy. Congrats! I have a present for you. Too bad your parents took it literally. I was hoping that it was you. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. I never even listen when you tell me them. I would never date you. But Ill keep trying. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not really sure. Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! You can be anal about details and not OCD. My hair hurts. A bit because of you, but mainly because of me. You are so full of crap, the toilets jealous. Jinkx Monsoon. "You're boring." 27. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you. "You're being dramatic," or "Quit being emotional," "Why are you so difficult," "You make things so hard on me," "someone else has it worse, so stop crying." -VividTangerine. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. You are like a cloud. I feel so sorry for your parents. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. An apple a day keeps the doctor away if you throw it hard enough! What do you say to single people on Valentines Day? You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. Follow-up phrases include Im sorry you were offended by that, or Im sorry, but neither of which qualify as a genuine apology. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You can also use them with success anywhere else. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk around a few more times? You call me your best friend, but where the heck were you when my selfie only got 4 likes?